At a glance: COMEDIC · ABOUT 60 SECONDS
Best for: teen/young-adult acting practice, class work, or auditions that allow original material
Word count: 136 words
Format: one speaker addressing a silent listener
Timing: approximate; time your own delivery before using it for a strict audition limit
The Audition Number: full monologue
They gave me number thirteen.
Thirteen.
I know numbers are not supposed to have personalities, but this one does. This one looked at me from the sticker and said, “You should have stayed home.”
Then number twelve went in and came out smiling.
Smiling.
Nobody comes out of an audition smiling unless they nailed it or forgot enough of it to experience peace.
And number fourteen is over there doing vocal warm-ups like a woodland creature.
Meanwhile, my sticker is peeling off my shirt, which feels symbolic.
I asked the monitor if I could trade numbers. She laughed.
That was not a no.
So here’s the plan: I’m going to walk in there, say my name, not my number, and give the best audition of my life.
And if it goes badly?
We blame thirteen.
Obviously.
What’s happening in this monologue?
You are whispering to another actor in the audition waiting room just before your name is called.
Acting questions to explore
- Do you really believe the number is unlucky?
- Where are you using superstition to manage nerves?
- What changes when you finally make a plan?
Use these as rehearsal questions, not fixed answers. The point is to make a specific choice and stay responsive rather than copy a single “correct” performance.
Explore more comic situations in Comedic Monologues: 16 original funny pieces, including adult and teen choices with free recorded rehearsal demos.
Rehearse this monologue free in CueRoom
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Try a scene with two characters
Want to hear CueRoom read the other part? Try The Last Train, a short original scene for Maya and Jules. Choose either character, say your lines, and let the prerecorded reader play the other role.
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How to memorize this monologue
- Picture where the other audition numbers and the monitor are in the waiting room. Link each observation to its exact words, rather than memorizing a list of reactions.
- Separate the attempt to change the number from the plan for entering the audition. Start at the plan and work through the ending without the earlier complaints.
- Run the piece with an imagined listener who does not share the superstition. Notice when the character tries a new argument, and keep those turns clear while the wording stays fixed.
For a complete short-deadline routine, use How to Memorize a Monologue. For active-recall exercises, see How to Memorize Lines.
Why CueRoom helps: reading the speech is not the same as retrieving it. Put permitted text into CueRoom, hide your lines, prompt yourself when a phrase disappears, and return to the exact transition that keeps breaking.
More monologues to explore
- The Practice Room Door — a dramatic contrast set just outside an audition.
- The Tree Would Like a Word — a comic request from a performer with a small role.
- My Five-Year Plan Has Tabs — an organized plan that cannot hide uncertainty.
Ready for the full CueRoom app?
Practice this monologue free as often as you like. Buy CueRoom when you are ready to upload your own scripts, choose reader voices, and keep a personal library.
Working to a short time limit? Compare this piece with the one-minute monologue selection, then time your own delivery with pauses. The full text and prerecorded demo stay the same.
Compare this original with the other contemporary monologue selections, with comic and dramatic situations and guidance on audition source requirements.