Tone: Damage control
Suggested performers: Adults and young adults; any gender
Length: 175 words; approximately 60–90 seconds
Format: one speaker addressing a silent listener
Timing is a starting estimate, not a guaranteed audition length. Time your own delivery with pauses. This is an original standalone piece, not an extract from a published play.
Please Don't Review the Cabin: full monologue
Before you press submit, could we agree on what counts as a mountain view? There was a mountain. You saw it when you stood on the toilet. The listing never promised a seated experience.
And 'rustic' does allow for certain surprises. A ladder instead of stairs. A shower with opinions. One exceptionally confident moth. We should acknowledge that the moth knew where everything was.
Please take out the sentence about the lake. It was visible on the map, and maps are a kind of view. No, I wouldn't use that as the headline either.
I may have said luxury. The actual listing said lovely. Those words occupy a similar area of the page. I was booking on my phone, on a bus, with a biscuit in the other hand.
Fine. Write an honest review. Mention the ladder. Mention the toilet mountain. Just don't mention that I sent everyone a packing list titled 'A Weekend of Effortless Comfort.'
You already attached the screenshot? Right. In that case, could you at least give the moth five stars?
What is happening in this scene?
The friend who booked a disastrous weekend cabin tries to stop an honest review from exposing their poor choice.
You are speaking to: Your travel companion, whose finger is hovering over the review button.
You want: Persuade your friend to soften the review before everyone learns you chose the cabin.
The change to explore: You admit that the impressive listing was mostly your interpretation.
Acting choices to try
- How much of the review have you already read?
- Which defense do you believe, and which one do you invent while speaking?
- What changes when you discover the screenshot is already attached?
Have a partner silently pretend to edit a review while you speak. Use each imagined deletion or added sentence to trigger the next argument. The listener's actions can create the pace.
These are starting points. Try a different intention or pace, and let the response you imagine from your listener affect your next thought. You do not need to copy the recorded delivery.
Rehearse this comedic monologue free in CueRoom
Open the complete piece in CueRoom. Use Practice my lines to hide the words and recall each beat, or Listen to the recording to hear the prepared reading. Prompt plays the current beat when you need help; bookmarks let you return to a difficult transition.
No purchase or sign-in required. The Studio voice is already recorded. Replays, prompts and practice use no Studio credits.
Rehearse Please Don't Review the Cabin free →
Fixed original text and recorded voice. Changes stay in this tab. Manual advance and timed hands-free practice are available; Voice Control depends on browser support and optional microphone permission.
Prepare it for an audition or class
Check whether the brief permits original standalone material. Learn the shifts in thought as well as the wording, then time a full take at performance pace. If you need a shorter cut, make the cut before memorizing it; the free demo always rehearses the complete text above.
Use the monologue preparation plan for a short deadline, or try the recall exercises in How to Memorize Lines.
More comedic monologues to explore
- The Unofficial Museum Guide — A student admits to a museum employee that a group of tourists has mistaken them for a guide.
- The Family Photo Negotiation — The relative holding the camera tries to negotiate one usable family photograph before everyone leaves.
- The Backpack That Exploded — an existing teen comedy from the library.
Browse comedic monologues → · Explore the complete monologue library →
Try a scene with two characters
A monologue gives you one character to rehearse. To hear CueRoom read a scene partner, try The Last Train. Choose Maya or Jules and let the recorded reader play the other role.
Explore this open-casting piece alongside named male characters in Monologues for Men, with playing-age guidance and contrasting rehearsal pairs.
Ready to rehearse your own scripts?
Keep practicing this original piece free. When you want to bring your own permitted material, choose reader voices and keep a personal script library, explore the full CueRoom app.
Choosing for a limited performance slot? Compare this 175-word piece with the other short monologue selections, then time your own complete take with the pauses you need.